im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Enjoy the penises
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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