we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
