Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
