yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize