let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
