i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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