at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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