Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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