I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
