super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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