so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
