And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
