I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
