I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
