i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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