Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I could fuck to npr.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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