good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
