I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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