If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
