i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
