Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
