Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
