She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
