its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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