I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So much rum. So many feels.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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