Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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