Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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