It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
