toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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