You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
