What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
