What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
