dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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