You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
