i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
