she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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