I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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