I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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