That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
