I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
