don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
