I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
