so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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