I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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