i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
