I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
