We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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