i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
