So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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