I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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