i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
