She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Every concussion has its silver lining
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
