i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
