moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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