I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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