no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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