yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
