yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
