I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
