I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I didn't notice because vodka
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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